I'm Just Saying...

I feel creepy shopping in Victoria's Secret...more so when I ask the sales lady "Do you thing a rubber woman would look good in this?"

Question, if she does a really good job, do you tip a hooker? Don't be silly, I'm not asking for myself. I always tip hookers.

When using flavored condoms, choose wisely. Choose ice cream/candy (Sucking Foods). Not Chicken/Steak. (Chewing Foods). Just saying.

I am not a piece of meat! I have a mind! (Actually I wouldn't mind being treated like a piece of meat!) Corny? Yes. Accurate? Even more so!

Some hot 19yr olds asked me to go to a bar, I was flattered for a nanosecond...then I realized they just needed an old guy to get beer.

Slept with my hot neighbor. Kinda takes all of the fun of watching her shower via my hidden surveillance cameras.