Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I'm Just Saying...

I'm tired of stereotypes! Let's move past them damn it! Whoops....sorry, I just tripped over my penis again.

Why is it that the only body parts that are are referenced with "BRASS" are the knuckles and balls?...
It's technically not settling if you lower your expectations beforehand. That is your lesson for today. Take that low self esteem!!!!

Officer, these ARE clothes. I didn't make them see-thru, your beef is with the designer not me. Arrest her instead!

I asked the "Man in the Mirror" to change his ways. He gave me the finger. If he wasn't so good looking I'd be pissed. Plus, I nail him.

Following in Heidi Montag's footsteps, I too just had 10 plastic surgeries and I am also a much less attractive, frozen faced white woman.

They really should come up with a better name than "condiments" for liquids that get squeezed on your food.

I wake in the night to prostate is fine, I just want to make sure I cover the whole toilet seat. You're welcome next girlfriend.

Alert! There is NO SUCH THING as KY PEANUT BUTTER! But there is something called a lady friend too lazy to go to the drug store!!!

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