Saturday, January 9, 2010

I'm Just Saying...

...Yeah man. I've gotten applause after sex before too! I really put it on her..... What? Oh...YOU got "THE CLAP." Nevermind.

Just found out that I may be a dad. Not at the doctors office, when my date climbed off of me I noticed that my condom had no top on it anymore. Thank goodness for my fake ID and the greyhound frequent rider discount!

♫ Hey Jude, it just got bad ... And if she testifies it won't get better... ♫

It's amazing how eager the Three-card Monte guy was to give me my money back once I squeezed his throat for a few seconds. Good times.

Do you know what would be an instant big seller? Breathe Right Strips for the vagina. They'd be right next to the condoms in my wallet.

No "Avatar" for me. I was attacked by a large blue fictional character when I was a child. I'm working on getting rid of this prejudice.

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