Martin Luther King's Birthday Today......Thank you sir!!!
The Tonight Show with S. Anthony Thomas...cause it's always nice to have a little hot cocoa at night...Nice huh?...never going to happen Ha!
Hey lady, you said help you get your cat out of the tree. You didn't say how. Stop screaming, pull the arrow out and take him to the vet!!
My neighborhood is so tough...oh crap...get down....I'll tell you the punchline later....someone outside is shooting.
A friend of mine wants to eat a bullet, but doesn't want to put excess weight on his corpse....anyone know if they have low-cal?
People need beer 2 sleep with people the don't find hot? All vagina's are hot, except the surgically created one on that tranny...wait, huh?
Saw my first FEMALE flasher today!! Now, she's going to say I was in her apartment illegally and she was getting out of the shower, but.....
Listen lady, I should be mad at YOU for NOT wiping your sweat off of the gym bike seat, you should NOT be mad at ME for licking it up!!!
I have a huge headache, I hope these pills work....yup....they're working....they put her right to sleep. Headache over.
Me: "Of course babe, I like my nipples sucked too"
Her: "Sir, you're scaring me could you just tell me if you want fries with your burger?"
Why does the word "Fetish" have such a negative connotation? I said. At that point the officer read me my rights and removed the animals.
This hot girl caressed my ass at the supermarket....man I wish she was dyslexic.