I'm Just Saying...

5 Cancer Treatment Center commercials During "Maury". Are they trying to tell us something? I just thought the show caused brain damage.

I like my women like I like my ice cream....with my penis in them.

If you don't see me on the news in a few minutes under the title "Madman in standoff with police" you'll know that I have found the coffee.

Put some Hershey's hot cocoa mix in my coffee, total cost....52 cents take that starbucks!!!!

"You're a disappointment, you'll never have anything, give up!" Man, Olive Garden wasn't kidding. Being here is just like being with family.

I look women in the eyes when we talk, not one of those pigs that stare at womens' delicious breasts. That's what my lapel camera is for.

A guy that cut me off at a light got caught by an intersection cam. A $100 ticket. Is it supposed to feel this good laughing at an a-hole?

How did we go from Christmas to X-mas? Did Jesus join the Nation of Islam or something? (Don't tell the GOP if he did, they'd profile him)

Pill parties, plastic surgery parties, piercing parties...are teens getting dumber? What's next immolation parties? Calm the hell down!!!

They won't let you pump your gas in New Jersey. I was going to use their bathroom but I need to know how far they take "full service" first.