I'm Just Saying...

I want to take Lunesta just to see that green butterfly.

Joe Lieberman must not have gotten any action when he was younger. That's the only way I can explain his desire to screw millions of people.

I'm adopted...I'm adopted...I'm adopted. If that heel clicking crap worked for Dorothy, maybe this will work for me. I'm adopted...I'm...

If I saw that green butterfly in the Lunesta commercial I'm not going to sleep. I'd be thinking "Is that thing poisonous? I'm outta here"

A homeless guy asked for a dollar. I said "No, but I'll buy that bottle of urine" Merry x-mas guy in my parking spot AGAIN like your gift?

I haven't played organized sports in a while, but they're supposed to pat my butt AFTER the touchdown Right?... And be on MY team right?

Even with the lead built up after my teenage years I have finally had sex more times than I have masturbated. It was a tough battle.

No officer, you've got it all wrong. I paid her to just open her mouth, that's not illegal...she threw the sucking in for free!!!