I'm Just Saying...

No wonder these Salmon are dead. How were they supposed to swim when they're in this can?

Saw a lady get her Credit card cut in half. Why humiliate her ? It made me fell less guilty about the shoplifting I...I mean some guy did.

Why are all of these people against single payer? We have it now. I pay directly to the hooker and.....what?.....Healthcare?...Oh.

...so officer, while driving...I can't use my cellphone, can't be pants less, can't be with this hooker? Friggin' Commie!!!

Forget rock, paper, scissors. I play rock, paper, knee to the balls. Granted, no one else knew about the rule change...but I am undefeated.

Anyone else come from a family so screwed up that you pray for selective amnesia?

One of my relatives was put into a "Rubber Room". I thought he had mental issues...it just meant the staff wore nothing but condoms to work.

Karen and Davis sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. S. Anthony with a camcorder in the next tree R-E-C-O-R-D-I-N-G. Uh oh I've got to go....it's the P-O-L-I-C-E!

...I'm a few yoga classes away from being able to lick myself...at least that's what the brochure says...