I'm Just Saying...

Why do I hear the theme from "The Godfather" in my head every time I see the Senate vote on something?

Chantix...you want to impress me? Forget nicotine, make a skank patch.

There is no winning a popularity contest. Profound huh? Also...I like boobies & booties covered in whipped cream. Yum Yum... Hey, I tried.

Watching chick flicks causes cirrhosis. Hey, don't kill the messenger.

A friend left his iphone at my house, it had tons of porn on it. His phone now has a "maybe you shouldn't touch screen"...Sorry.

What do you do if you're in a crowded theater looking for a friend...and his name is FIRE?