Rehearsing today, so I'll be in and out. *giggles* I said "in and out" Writing my new show is HARD. *giggles* No, you GROW up ! *giggles*

I just ate some chocolate pudding that WASN'T lovingly spread across a beautiful woman's boobs and butt cheeks...it's not nearly as tasty...

Wait, Ellen was on America Idol? Why was I not informed of this?

Stop calling semen "Marriage material" some people don't think it's funny.

Dear police, stop releasing people's 911 recordings. Some things like life and death trauma should be kept private. Thanks. 

How many TV screens do you think Ted Koppel has smashed while watching the new Nightline?