...and you are?...

Misunderstanding the lady when she said she wants to see a "fly strip", an embarrassed teenage S.Anthony was soon unemployed as a cashier...

I'm driving my relatives around so much today that I might paint my car yellow and charge them a fare... after I racially profile them.

Is it wrong to refer to my semen as "Diamond milk"...well? I'm not going to stop doing it. I'm just asking...

I'm negotiating an exclusive contract with the House & Senate to sell to them my new toothpaste that removes the taste of lobbyist buttocks.

You know that filter in your head that makes you answer politely? Mine is in the shop. Go on with your soon to be ignored idiotic question.

My butt must have taken some Tylenol pm because even though I'm out of the car...it refuses to wake up.

Cable news anchors....the typhoid Marys of stupidity.

Yeah, the initial sex toys are discreetly packaged...but the weekly catalogs afterward aren't...I've been told by others... who aren't me...