:-)

There is NO part of a freshly showered woman's body that's not DELICIOUS.

It's funny, without fail, right after we celebrate "Independence" we find ourselves then lamenting "What the hell do I do now?"

This chair is hard, my butt is numb... now I know why women are so insistent that I lick the water ice off of their butts more quickly...

Flipping through the cable news stations is like visiting the "6 Flags Great Adventure" for stupid people.

Women's secret reset button can only be reached with a long, thick cylindrical object. Press repeatedly for 45 min & she's not mad anymore!

The men in my family believe that after the age of 60 they need to explain to me in detail their intestinal distress. Euthanasia?

In 16 weeks I will be another year older which is weird because only 16 weeks will have passed...I'm confused??????