Couldn't perverts have chosen something other than a raincoat to wear? Now, when I walk bottomless by a college, people look at ME funny.
Hey Google, add a search to women so young guys can figure out what the hell they want. Older guys know...Shut up and do what they say!
Deaths happen in threes? Who's selling guns that have just three bullets in them? Are they cheaper? I mean, I am on a budget.
KISSING cousins? F*cking tease.
Why did my ex nickname my junk "Milk?" Because it does a body good? Because of the discharge? Because it regularly comes out of a cow? What?
When you go to the pound to pick up a new dog...don't ask for cooking suggestions. They don't think it's funny. And you will be on "A list".
Overheard a woman complaining about her boyfriend leaving just after she got his name tattooed on her face. Gee, I wonder why he left her...
I remember as a kid when I found out that "Junk" meant a man's "Stuff". I finally understood why Fred Sanford always walked so funny.