S. Anthony Says...

Where are all of these hot meteorologist ladies coming from? Finally, "Nice weather we're having" can get you laid and not stared at!

Thanks to Jihad Jane, soon black guys will be watching the news and saying "It's a shame cops are roughing up that white lady"

Check the mental acuity of anyone who willingly babysits more than two 5yr olds. even if it's their kids.

Men get fluffers, I only think It's right that women have "lappers"...so, let's just say that I'm open to helping the ladies. I'm a giver.

If that's what Tiger Woods' sexts are like when he's sober...(Insert your joke here)

So....YOU need a bad reaction to a pill to get a 4 hour erection? Losers.

"Is my cellphone coverage map blocking the screen? " "No, but your big ass head is!!"

If you didn't want my mouth on your boobs, why was your window unlocked? Apology accepted...