Why is there a picture of my zest for life on the side of this milk carton? Oh.
I'm just saying, if I hand deliver mail...I'm performing the same function as a stamp so it's not wrong for me to asked to be licked too!
I'm high on "Life"...talk about an embarrassing placebo effect. I should have known something was up. Weed is not cinnamon on one side.
Officer, I wasn't threatening that driver. I just forgot that I was holding my gun when I was making hand signals...at his house...at night.
I'm going to start acting crazy in public NOW to set up my future insanity defense. There are too many relatives at the house. For now.
I told my doctor that I was having trouble peeing. I spent all of that money just to be told to remove the rubber bands. I feel kinda silly.
Her: Before we sleep together, take a blood test. Him: Your mother is disease free right?...Well if she's clean I am. Her: *pulls out gun*