The S. Man Says...

The Myth of the Functional Family.

My friend and I were having a discussion about the myth of the functional family. People always speak of dysfunctional families as if they are the aberration. They are the norm. Have you ever seen A NORMAL family?

If you have seen one, you've probably noticed that at some point, when their secret came out, it's the most disgusting problem among the people that you know. Sure, the neighbors yelled too much, but they didn't have 50 cat skeletons in the basement. They didn't have a secret porn business. They didn't watch Fox (News?) and believe that shit.

My message is, people who come from so called normal families are dangerous. They try so hard to hide who they truly are, that one day they find themselves on a tower picking off family pets with a rifle. People, my message is this...if you are a bit of an a-hole, it's okay. Everybody is. Enjoy your hard earned a-holishness, you deserve it. Just don't do that stuff to me. I'll kick your ass if you do.

I just realized how beautiful my penis is. Lets see if the people on the bus agree....does "Sir stop that, stop it now!" mean they like it?

With the draft coming up, it makes me wish that I was in the final year of my contract with my family. TRADE ME!!!! NOW!!!