I've been putting an aspirin between my balls....I am now the father of 70 kids.

Dear famous people, drugs are BAD. You're welcome.

Titties are for feeding babies, so let women breastfeed and grow up. FYI, I'm a big fan of their off label uses AKA "slurpies & squeezies".

Guess who's NOT going to hell. ME, because I said so. See how easy that was.