Dear employer who may in the future make me log into my Facebook account as a condition of being hired...your oldest kid really belongs to the Mailman. I also nailed your wife. And you Mrs. Lady employer, The same Mailman nailed your husband. Bet you're sorry that you invaded my account now aren't ya?

Ever see someone so yummy that you didn't WANT to get it on with them...you NEEDED to get it on with them? You're welcome. Untie me please.

Ladies, you're not the only ones who can violently pull on your nipples and say Mmmm during sex. Check and mate. *sticks out tongue*

As effortless as it is for me to express myself, it would be very hard for me to tell you how much I hate Rush Limbaugh's antics...

The Supreme C-whore-t.

Did you know that "Blah blah blah" was short for "Blow me three times this week please? Ok, that's not true, but let's make people think it.

Did you know that "Blah blah blah" was short for "Blow me three times this week please? Ok, that's not true, but let's make people think it.

Grandpa give us horse rides on his knee. He later lost that leg. Coincidence, or old people should let me ride them until I want to stop?

Is there really such a dearth of people that aren't pieces of shit that we can't find any to be judges and politicians?

"Hey cable news AND talk radio, I'm a smart black man. BOO!"

Why do Billionaires on the right hate gays so much? Is that hunky bartender STILL not returning your calls? Awwwww. Keep trying.

Security guard at the dollar store...got your uniform HERE didn't you?