“Something black not working? IMAGINE THAT!” - Rush Limbaugh, talking about the Blackberry

“Something crushed by lard, full of oxycontin residue and not working? Imagine THAT!” - Rush Limbaugh’s wife on their honeymoon night

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"S, you're not a Scorpio anymore with the new zodiac". Ironic that I stabbed her with a needle full of venom from my back pocket, huh?

Uh, officer... the sign says "Don't Walk". This is a pirouet. Fucking troglodyte! AAAAAAAAAH! Was the taser really necessary?

I just got out of a cab that smelled good. No YOU'RE lying!!!!