I'm going to start talking like "old-time-y" news reel voice over guys...because I want strangers to secretly hate me and call me a d-bag.

No random comedy website, you are showing the best tweets by comedians...that YOU know. I know people too...with BETTER tweets. YUP!

Ever met the boyfriend of a young female relative...and something tells you he's screwing her? Is it okay to want to step on his neck?

Rugby? ME? Nope. Too much like Thanksgiving.