"I'm casting ill informed assholes in my next film, someone contact the racists that ALWAYS write to the newspaper op-ed section!" - no one

Dear old white guys, NEVER say "Right On!" to me. I like you already, just because...so stop trying so hard. Thanks.

"Find the right woman, she can make you a better man...an even RIGHTER woman makes you better AND gets it on with you constantly" -  ME


Why does Michelle Bachmann keep calling me a "Libyan American"?
Oh.

Hippies? You just called the (Occupy Wall Street) protesters Hippies? Please take the 1967 calendar off of your wall and the Banker's balls out of your mouth.


My mother just called me and complained that “…every time she puts something intellectual up on her Facebook page to generate a discussion she gets no likes, but she always sees pictures of *obese women with ironically labeled asses (those are my words by the way, my mom is too nice to say that) get 50 likes.”

Welcome to Facebook mom. Welcome to Facebook. No, I will not friend you.

"Don't blame the home invader! Why did YOU have duct tape in YOUR house making it easy to tie YOU up?" -Law & Order: Herman Cain Unit

I wish that I had a girlfriend so I could say "Hey, lay down so I can occupy wall street!" SHUT UP! You've said things just as stupid!

I want seven friends named "Louie" and one friend named "Loueye". NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHY! Bar bets okay! Bar bets!