Monday, February 1, 2010

I'm Just Saying...

I want to thank the “Pants on the ground guy” for making me think of William Hung as the good old days.

I want to thank the "Pants on the ground " guy for making me think of William Hung as the good old days.

I took a friend to the emergency room (He’s OK) and overheard a guy talking about how his key broke off in a lock. Under normal circumstances that phrase wouldn’t even warrant a second listen, but this was an emergency room and I felt justified in eavesdropping. Why you ask? I was hoping for his sake that the phrase he used wasn't a euphemism.

For the first time since 1990 I will be without a woman on Feb 14th. My wallet and testicles will be more full than I like. This can't stand! My friends want me to join them at the strip clubs, but I just can't understand the concept of sitting in a bar, looking at woman dance naked, giving them money and going home alone covered in glitter....aka "Shame Powder" At least that's what I call it.

I'm starting to think that all of this snow is god's way of making me workout. That agnostic thing is starting to sound pretty good....

I avoid entertainment news after an awards show like they're a pile of peanuts and my EpiPen® is empty.

When I'm old 30 years from now, I'm going to learn how to make the pasties on my balls swing in opposite directions.... a friend said to me.

The hot news anchor says that they have a dramatic story next with a happy ending. Damn, I've got to watch more local news!!

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