Friday, February 12, 2010

The S. Man Says...

Breaking news!! Confused coke head dies of hypothermia trying to snort 3 feet of snow from in the front of his home. Film @ 6 % 11.

I didn't say I was bi polar, I said that I was a Bi-Poler! Hand me that Cool Whip on your way out, her friend sue is coming over...

These legal hookers are ruining the fantasy. Itemized bills? $10 for "Junk cleaning?" It used to just be called swallowing!

Is my Doctor right? She gave me a taste test to see if I had a hernia. Nevermind. I'm going daily from now on no matter what you say.

Whenever my grandparents start giving me a hard time....I just look at a can of dog food for a few seconds...and they know....

Some guys get drunk before a one night stand, I would get drunk afterward if I had one. I’d want to remember the sex. It would be the long, awkward, sleep preventing conversation AFTERWARD that I’d want to forget. I’d have that right! It would be my backseat dammit!!

Why can't "House" fix his own leg?

Ah, the Winter Olympics...gorgeous ladies with athletic bodies...covered with 10 layers of clothes.*Sigh* I'd rather watch Amish porn.

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