Randomness...

Everything that ISN'T sex IS cock blocking.

Surveillance cameras add 15 pounds and 20 years to you.

I would burn down my house to avoid the family coming over for thanksgiving but my Amish friends would just built me another one. Why did I do those Damned comedy shows in Lancaster Pa?

Some ladies think guys should have "Married" tattooed on them. I hope it happens. My first move afterwards...selling cheese graters.