I've been in so many bad relationships that I'm extremely low maintenance now. Basically...just don't shoot at me....with LIVE ammo.
President Obama pardons a turkey, Dick Cheney shoots it in the face. Film at 11!
Black Friday is crap. Get up at 5am to fight through a crowd for the right to buy something? Hell no! Dance monkeys..Dance!
Dance to the beat of your own drummer is a politically correct way to say "Imitate the mentally ill guy on the subway platform"
Automatic doors are to doormen what illegal aliens are to American born landscapers.
No cellphones while driving, no drinking, no texting. Boring. Thank god for Sudoku.