Randomness...

Want people to take marriage seriously? Outlaw divorce. Okay, the murder rate will go up, but people will take marriage seriously.

Can we please fine people for having obnoxiously loud moronic conversations on their cellphones? Or just slap the sh!t out of them.

At a party, just get on the floor and move to the music. Enjoy yourself. Anyone that disses your dancing is a douchebag...#lifelesson

I was set up on blind date and 10 minutes in, wished I was deaf.

What's with these smokin' hot weather ladies on the news. Stop it. Now when someone says "Nice Weather" I automatically drop my pants.

"X" no longer marks the spot. It's NOW marked by a "#". Consider yourself informed.

Technology is going to revive the strongman business. What's more impressive, ripping a phone book in half or a laptop. Thought so.