Thanksgiving day parade...of relatives...into my house. Where are the costumed people with ropes when I need them? pull these people out!!

The Packers are 11-0, but I'm 13-0 with your sister.

The market was like a wet t-shirt contest, but instead of water it was turkey drippings and cheese stains and instead of women...dudes.

****

Food $250
Gas driving their asses around $60

Teasing your young relatives for getting WAY too dressed up because their boyfriends/girlfriends are coming over....PRICELESS.

"Coward? ME? I've got balls as big as xy canis majoris!" - A nerd

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Kohl's® is using Rebbeca Black's "Friday" song.

Shark jumped.

Customer lost.