NBA. Christmas Day. Don't have to talk to my family that day. YAY!

Have you ever seen someone get so much airbrushing that you wonder why they even needed to show up in the first place?

My sister and I were trying to decide which one of us was going to buy our uncle's TV. I have it...because I PEPPER SPRAYED THE SHIT OUT OF HER!

Judging by the uniform colors, I think Stanford should change the team name to the “Stanford Grading Pencils”

NEW Euphemism ALERT!!!! If you know someone with 2 good ideas and 60 fucked up ideas...say that they're "Ron Paul-ing"

In the eyes of a ranger, The unsuspected stranger Had better know the truth of wrong from right, 'cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you, ...

Shut up.

You know that person who shows up just to complain, can't find anything after SEVERAL tries...then CREATES something to complain about? THAT. *sigh*

Joey Greico must get laid and laid and laid.