NEVER live "Drop by" close to your family. That is all.

Politics disgust me. I'm starting to disbelieve evolution...because WE DON'T seem to want to evolve as a society.

Serial killers, LEAVE HOT WOMEN ALONE! In a completely unrelated topic, there are so many people in the telemarketing business...

Did you know that the dust bowl was ended when a young John Boehner was told that there was no Santa? NO, you're off by a decade and a half!

My mother NEVER threatened to wash our mouths out with soap. We were responsible kids. We washed our OWN mouths out with soap. So there! Jealous? ;-)

"...now that you've clarified your point, I realize that you are an even bigger moron than I had thought..." #notagoodstart

Every topic isn't dense enough for a 45 minute conversation. Tell the people here please, they won't listen to me.

Some people REFUSE to be happy. We call these people "Women that I was attracted to when I was in my twenties"

My taste in women has changed. I NOW like to eat LOW CAL yogurt off of their freshly showered boobs & butts. Yeah, healthy choices.

Ladies, just so you know...the following is the list of things that will stop us from sleeping with you--->Death. That is all.

The_____________________________________________Sand.

I want to travel back in time and thank the wright brothers for the 10 free testicle rubs this month. Great job guys!

You put plastic on your chairs, I'm sitting on them pants less....YOU STARTED THIS WAR GRANDMA!!! I'm gonna finish it!