It's kind of hard to give a damn when your home team isn't playing. Chess championships aren't for everyone. No, you're a nerd!

Drove by a "Stop and Go (corner beer store)". There is a surprising paucity of smart, good looking, successful people there. Interesting.

Duct tape + testicles = not a good idea. Also, telling me about it and getting mad when I laugh at you = gonna happen so deal with it.

The prostitute lobby has done an amazing job of getting rid of roofies.

The POTUS needs to add "the guy next to the drunk guy who wants to fight" as an adviser...someone to say "I know you ain't gonna take that!"

New Twitter, new Facebook...and I looked down just now and my balls are square. People need to stop changing things without asking!

I saw a picture of Sarah Palin online...and "It" moved. Damn you genitals! I thought we had a talk after the Hasselbeck incident! No more!