If I'm disrespected by someone, a line is crossed. Not just a line of acceptable behavior, but a line through their name in my address book.

Have you ever seen a new relationship start, look at the couple and just know that cats and small animals are going to start disappearing?

If you're doing your hair & won't leave the bathroom to those who MUST go, you should be publicly pimp slapped as a warning to ALL A-holes!

Sometimes parents, it's okay to give up on your kids. If you saw this group, you'd think the same thing...

Dude, did your ear, nose and throat doctor cut back to just ear and throat? Put you arms down! You really can't smell that!?!

I just used a CLEAN public bathroom. Well, it WAS. Thank you and good night! Tip your waitress, no not money, knock her over! Thank you...

I'm like a sponge. No, I don't learn things easily, I'm wet, on the sink and partially nibbled on by mice.

TSA = The minor leagues for fluffers.

My nephews tease me because I have MOBILE web. I told them "I'll have full web & your phones when my sister sends you to military school."