I realize now, that I will NEVER have sex with an 18 year old EVER again. Wait...when I was 18, I was sleeping with 28 year old women...nevermind.

Validation. Appreciated, but not needed, enjoyed but not chased, addicting...but I AM NOT addicted.

Special message to the cheaters out there, over and above the disrespect inherent in the cheating itself...you are putting the health of you spouse or significant other at risk. Think about that the next time you smack genitals with the other person. Just saying...oh, and fuck you.

Have you ever seen someone in an ordinary job that was so beautiful, it was like seeing a superhero in their secret identity?

Shout out to the lady in the SUV 2 inches from my bumper on the black ice... you missed ME! Enjoy your future accidents, they ARE coming.

Mike Vick & Dogs, Kim K's ass, Jersey Shore, cable news, celebrity dating news....oh, I'm just working on my "Fuck it" list...

I'm having a salad with my dinner and working out tonight like Sarah Palin doesn't want me to.

If someone parks in a spot that you dug out of the snow, how long can you keep them in your trunk before it's kidnapping?