I get back to the east just in time for a snow storm. I should NOT have said "A little" when mother nature asked if her ass looked fat.

Do you know who's REALLY happy about Hugh Hefner's new bride? The pool boy. That is going to be a clean, clean, clean pool.

I guess, for the first time in her life she'll REALLY be able to f*ck the sh!t out of someone! #hughhefnersfiancée

Relatives that I COULDN'T get rid of now HAVE to go just before the snow starts... punk asses don't want to shovel. I'll remember that.

New Years resolutions? No. Definite goals and relentless implementation of positive actions leading to their completion? Yes.

It's bad enough to see writing in the snow...I DON'T want to know why or HOW someone corrected the spelling in RED.

How was I supposed to react to this compliment from an ex? "Your balls always smelled so good!" All I could think of was "Uh, thanks..."