In her next movie Angelina Jolie plays a really hot (Insert Job) that (Insert activity). Really, does it matter? I'm still going.

John McCain to filibuster puppy dogs. No one tells him that you can't do that...they just laugh. Film at 11!

Sorry John (McCain) you can't get away with saying crazy, stupid crap like Sarah Palin because no one wants to f*ck YOU.

Uh, ladies who take topless pictures but cover their vaginas...we want to SEE your boobs and get IN your vagina. Just letting you know.

Movie companies, stop putting songs in the commercials that have NOTHING to do with and are NOT in the movie. Dickheads.

Can we please skip dinner with family Christmas and go straight to sweaty pounding sex new years eve?

I have a special driver's license that lets the TSA know that my balls have been PRE-FONDLED. Jealous?

Someone please tell this teen to pull up his pants so the rest of us don't have to suffer through any more of his "chia ass".

It's amazing how people will be on their best behavior for strangers, but will shit all over friends and family. I call those people "Gone".