I'm not just an organ donor...I'm an appendage donor also. Ladies?
Who's going to rip things from the headlines NOW!?! #Law&Order
Negative people, I had an eloquent, witty way of making my point to you, but to be more precise & colloquial...go f*ck yourselves. Thanks.
DO NOT place your balls in a sleeping woman's mouth...especially if you DON'T know her. In a related story, I'm banned from the library now.
Are there any rusty or out of work fluffers who need someone to practice on? I'm available.
Died young?....yes. Left a beautiful corpse?....only if you're a pyromaniac.
I'm pouring some motor oil in my sink...you know, for my homies. Bye Bye aquatic life, ecosystem. We hardly knew ye...
Alternative ending to Lost...the plane crashed into the BP oil rig....wait...hear me out...come back! You're just jealous of my ideas!!!!!
The Newhart finale just bitch slapped the Lost finale and took it's lunch money. That was not nice, I'm going to have a talk with it.
Everything waiting for you doesn't require the suffix "Mail" (Voicemail etc.) If I'm waiting to kick your ass is it asswhipmail?
Don't lick YOUR chops...lick MY chops. (That's what I call my genitals sometimes)
There must have been lots of unsolved murders before the invention of safe words. Maybe there aren't serial killers, just deaf dominatrices.
Stop talking to me while you're doing a number 2 girl! I don't want to think about that...besides, I eat that ass! So, quiet damn it!!!