Yup.

Cute, smart women....*licks fingers*....understand?

Booty eating. Ladies?

DON'T pull on our ears ladies, caress the back of our heads instead. Thanks.

We must thank BP for preventing the next terrorist attack. With companies like them around...what's a terrorist to do? Thanks BP! Good Job!

E.T.A. for BP spill to be used as a sexual reference in a hip hop song...3 months. In porno...next month. At my house 15 min ago.

"No, the third input isn't a deal breaker... but it is a deal sealer!" #badboyfriendnegotiatingtactics

Women FAKE orgasms, but they can't fake a good mood. If she's not nice to you for 24 hours after you have sex, you didn't "get the job done"

It's NOT a good sign, when you look into each others eyes, smile...you point to your genitals and she says "Yup, there they are..."

There's nothing like having sex with a mannequin to make you realize that you'd better learn how to treat women. #yourdad-takethatmomjokes

Comedians don't get groupies...we get girlfriends. I'm not complaining. Well, except for now, because I don't have a new one...yet.

Spoil your lady as much as possible, your life will be better and your genitals will thank you.

I wanted to take a break from politics, but my little cousins started fighting and not listening to each other... and so it continues...

Political, topical, dirty, clean, intellectual, loopy...my humor runs the gamut. If you're expecting ONE thing from ME...sorry. Nuff said.

Man, what a week. There are so many season finale episodes for me to avoid watching and being forced to talk about!

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place. Unless you tie someone to a lightning rod, wet them up and they take too long to apologize.