The new and improved....

♫♪ No I won't back down, No I won't back down!♫♪... Is that a GUN?... ♫♪ On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again! ♫♪

Please let the next political scandal be Sarah Palin caught f*king James Carville...PLEASE!!!!

I invented masturbation and I want my royalties. $5 per month for the "This should hold me" types. $100 for chronic users. You too ladies!

I've been sucking women's tits for 25 years...and not one drop of milk, but babies get milk every time!! I'm suing! Age discrimination!

Why am I always so clean? To be ready for spontaneous fellatio. By the time YOU freshen up, Oprah's on & YOU'RE lonely, angry & bottomless!

Don't viciously reject guys at bars ladies. They might not warn you about the roofie you're slipped. I mean I would but some might not...