Yada. Yada! Yada! No, I'm not mumbling, I'm trying to get the attention of my friend Yada. I wish she'd take off those damned headphones!

The fact that "Drive by pimp slappings" has gone down drastically since I joined twitter...is a coincidence. YES IT IS! DON'T MAKE ME...

I openly drink Green Tea...in the hood. Yeah.
I'm cooler than you.

Dear television series that try to keep me watching with 5 year story arcs. No. I only invest 5 years in women, you see, THEY taste good.

Don't cut me off in traffic while you're making a cellphone call and then thank me as if I let you in. I didn't and you're an asshole.

Self brushing teeth....inventors, GO!

"Oh yeah? You don't want none of THIS!"
- Things said by people that don't know that they've just told you that they CAN'T fight

Maybe I shouldn't have aired my "Fool proof way to ALWAYS find her g-spot" infomercial opposite the Superbowl. Well, you missed it losers!

It's not about how many give a shit, it's that SOMEBODY gives a shit that's important. Thanks, you know who you are...