My Flintstone vitamins are fucking, so if I'm patient, I'm going to get more for FREE!

Mitt Romney thinks the movie "Transformers" is a documentary.

"Duh balls!" - Say this loudly at the most inappropriate moment in a serious conversation. FUN!

Hey, don't think for one minute....because you will get a headache. Yes sir, I'm calling you an idiot.

I am the ONLY guy at my table treating the Hooters waitress as a human being. These dudes are pigs. FYI, I am so going to get it on with her.

After watching "A day in the life: Marc Maron", it started to really make me miss living in Los Angeles. Quite frankly, it moved Los Angeles into the lead in the "What major media market will I make my permanent home" sweepstakes. Those shots of Sunset Blvd and his performance in the Comedy Store really got to me.