I love Tamron Hall so much that I now use her name to describe how much I love other things. “Wow! I Tamron Hall this place!”

My uncle is getting a colonoscopy soon, so yay, I'm going to have to hear uncomfortable old guy anal sex jokes!

Some teenage college students just walked past me and said "You're kinda old, but you could still get it!" I choose to hear only the ending.

Dear "The Press", THIS is shit and THIS is shinola. Write that down please.

Does anyone have any powdered whoop ass? I don't want to use cans. My ass whippings are environmentally friendly now.