So armpit fetishes are common? Then why are the police here? I'll untie you when I get an answer!

The Secret Service was caught fucking whores, congress is full of fucking whores... BOTH are scandals in my mind.

In a word...get away from me you annoying douchebag loser. Alright, my count was a little off, but I meant what I said.

If people are not sleeping with you, they don't care what you say. ARE YOU LISTENING!?! Alright, I know what you want... *takes off pants*

Skinny dipping? Honey, what I dip ain't skinny. Ya dig?

Ladies think guys want to "Bang" tons of women. Not ME, I want to find ONE special lady... to "BANG" senseless daily.

If you let these people buy this election, you will regret it. Unfortunately, I'll ALSO regret it, so don't let that crap happen dumb asses!

Dear fat celebrities that get skinny, shut the fuck up. Thanks.