Pro tip. If you're on a porn site, and you hover over the icon for a movie, and the image DOESN'T give you a preview....DON'T WATCH!

I love my testicles most...when they smell like you girl. #Iwillnevergethiredtowriteforboybands #Iamapoet

If you see this, it means that YOU are invisible.

Dear people who think that I just used TOO MUCH salad dressing, YOU use TOO MUCH "NOT shutting the fuck up". So we're even. Your friend, S.

The devil you know, one you don't know....who cares? Just shoot that bastard! Oh, it's the devil. Shoot him a super soaker of holy water!

My heavy bag just called me fat ass. I'm glad that I kicked and punched it for an hour now.

Hey ABC, I can't wait until the B___ in APT 23, gets her ass kicked by the Ho in APT 24 (Must be pronounced with an accent for effect) ;-)

I'm going to make sure "Lola" gets nothing, I have nothing against her, I just want to fuck up that song.

Sporks....when you want to eat your food off of something that looks like a faceless hello kitty head.

If "Criminal Minds" is true, all serial killers are surprisingly fit, model pretty, 30 something dudes.

I don't celebrate Easter, but free candy is free candy.