Isn't it disappointing when you find out that someone you're related to has the "piece of shit" gene?

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Just put a bowl on the washing machine….as it started to violently shake.

My bowl of cereal flies into the air….

…something sounds wrong and I turn just in time to see the bowl take flight….

….I toss the remote, lunge toward the bowl as it was in a rapid descent….

…..I slip, lose my footing, regain my footing and catch the bowl between my feet fractions of an inch from the floor….

….and NOTHING was spilled. Nothing.

WHY WAS THERE NO ONE HERE TO FILM THIS SHIT!?!

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Car crash dummies can survive high speed vehicular impacts, but are afraid to go home 5 minutes late to their wives. Punks.

Shaving cream is NOT a good lube. A friend told me that. It certainly wasn't me being too lazy to climb off of her and drive to the store.