Ya really DON'T know who you're voting for yet Iowa? REALLY?

Hey S., leave (insert politician) alone! I like you but you're making me mad! *I just trolled MYSELF. Yeah, I'm FULL service. Jealous?*

Wait, if this law passes, I'd have to be IN the state of New Jersey to gamble? Nah, nevermind. Not worth it. (Just fucking with my buddies)

My ego is constructed of a new lightweight and more efficient material. I can NOW happily survive on "validation FUMES" ONLY. Jealous?

....*awkward silence*...okay, no one else got the email about wearing see thru codpieces huh?  I can still stay, right? Cool.

Breaking! Frothy mix of lube and fecal matter SUES ALL search engines for slandering it by lumping it in with RICK Santorum Film at 6 & 11!

I just beat a spammer over the head with a telemarketer. Yes... I am your HERO!