"Lucy" is about to "pull that football" away from Rick Santorum. Enjoy.

I'm starting a cult where nothing changes in peoples lives, except occasionally, hot women get it on with me. I'm setting my sights low.

I call my first cup of coffee "Tamika" instead of "Joe" like everyone else does. I prefer having some hot brown "Tamika" in my mouth. Just saying...

The funny thing about Hollywood...in 3 years people will be PISSED if Gervais DOESN'T diss them. They'll be sitting up front begging for it!

Dear young female relatives, as your elder, it's my job and my pleasure to tell any future boyfriend about his disembowelment if you're hit.