You know those canaries in those coal mines? I killed them. Yup, and thus forced people to use an inaccurate phrase for years. I run sh!t.

Don't you just LOVE having EVERY ASPECT of your daily life broken down, repackaged and SOLD back to you? Yeah, modern life is fun!

If you put in TOO MUCH detergent and the water comes out black & WITHOUT suds, your clothes are disgusting and you CAN'T borrow my jacket.

I just realized that there are LESS talented people who are MORE successful that me. This has got to stop. ;-)

Yeah, I yelled FIRE! But they STOOD to run out, so that counts as a standing ovation. YES IT DOES! Oh crap, the police! Gotta go!

Hey, Charlie Sheen...huh? We're NOT doing that anymore? Oh... should I break out my Mike WTFabee material then?