Tim Pawlenty...you are a wimp. Stop trying to be tough, you are fooling no one, now give me your lunch money.

No, I don't hold grudges....and that was NOT me under your car this morning. Please don't start it up until I'm behind the barrier...thanks.

The PRESIDENT had to go on at 7:30 to accommodate "Dancing with the Stars"? I...am...moving...to...Canada...now. Eh? How as that?

All yelling in a relationship that doesn't include genital friction...is bad. In truth, anything that doesn't include it pretty much blows.

The soft skin of a woman's inner thighs...yes, just...yes.

Why do people still park in my spot when they know that I have a sledgehammer?