I'd like to publicly apologize to the teller and manager of my local market for bothering them by purchasing food. It WON'T happen again.

My nephew laughs because I eat grapes instead of candy. I'm young enough to be here when YOUR metabolism slows down...then I laugh! Muahaha!

Vibrator $30. Call to my house...free. Just putting it out there...literally.

Ladies, if your guy gets turned on by the little girl voice you do etc, when you see "Jerry Springer" in your caller ID...it's not a joke.

Ladies, sometimes you look so good I want to give you 90 min of (edit) BEFORE you get my (edit). (Hey, if THIS seems dirty...I blame YOU)

AT&T buys T-Mobile. In other news herpes buys the clap.