You know that person that screws up your plans by just showing up? Yeah...THAT. Right NOW! Why ME!?!

Dancing with the Stars....get someone ON THE WAY UP! It'll add to your credibil....nevermind.

112th congress...making the black guy in the White house less scary to bigots since November. - Tee shirt idea

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Hey, guys who invented "Jackass", thanks for encouraging the people who produce the show "Wipeout"

- Signed

Intelligent people of America that use sarcasm regularly.

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I want to run for congress...no, I can't. As much as I try to pretend that I don't, I actually still give a damn. I'm unqualified.

I prefer getting into women's delicious vaginas sexually, NOT legislatively. It's MUCH MUCH better that way. Also, boobs. Yes, sweet boobs. Oh, and yummy booty. I've said too much...