Special message to guys, "REGULAR lady's" vaginas feel just as good as famous lady's vaginas. (I've had sex with BOTH) So calm the hell down. (No, I Won't say who)

Trump would be LESS of an embarrassment if he crapped his pants on live television than this crap he's pulling on us now.

Passengers in cars, silence is okay. Always remember that shutting the hell up is ALWAYS a viable option. Thanks.

So, your coffee maker has your coffee ready when you wake up? Yeah, that makes up for your crappy life. You ARE important now!

Insert "Shake Weight" joke HERE. Please include masturbation references whether it's the male or female commercial. I don't feel like it...