There will be NO walkouts when I go back on tour...because....YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO LEAVE... EVER! Muahahahaha!

I wish all of this stupid crap that the new congress is pulling ONLY applied to the mofos that voted for them...THEN, i'd have no problem.

"Wishing you were tightly wrapped around HERE"

- Fortune Condom

NO politician will EVER be able to keep ALL campaign promises, okay? Also Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy aren't real. Sorry.

I want JLO's ass & Kim K's ass to do a buddy film....at MY house...FOREVER. Yup.

Congress wants to KILL Medicare!?! MILLION WALKER MARCH! NOW!

ALL episodes of Married with Children with the character "Seven" should be burned and forgotten. Thanks.

Ever seen the TV show "The Prisoner"? Congress is trying to cast you in the live version...